WeddingSutra.com :: First Dance

For Tina Biswas and Ruhul Quddus, the song they chose for the first dance symbolized their triumph over adversity. As a Hindu-Muslim couple from traditional families their union did not come without resistance. But their positive outlook and love for one another prevailed and the song they chose reflected that perfectly. With the lyrics, "You'll be in my heart, No Matter what they say, You'll be here in my heart, always", "You'll Be in My Heart" was their celebration of achievement.

On the day of the wedding, months of nervous energy accumulated into a surprising serenity. Even with 300 people watching, they looked forward to their first dance as a time to celebrate their nuptials privately. Tina fondly remembers, "We really took those few minutes on the dance floor to enjoy ourselves and connect with each other. It was the only time on that day when we had to wrap our arms around one another."

A year after the wedding, the couple still cherishes their first dance and they are always pleasantly surprised when they hear the song on radio. Their advice to others is: "When picking the first dance, it is important that both the bride and groom choose a song that is somehow unique or personally significant to them. From a wedding guest's perspective, it is always refreshing to see and hear an atypical first dance song that obviously has special meaning to the happy couple."

First Dance Tips

So if you've just begin the search for your first dance song, keep the following in mind:

- Select a song that is meaningful to both of you
- Pick a song your guests will be able to associate with you
- Opt for a unique song that is more significant to two of you instead of choosing a typical wedding song
- Choose two songs, one English and one Hindi, if one song is not sufficient
- Don't let anyone talk you out of your song choice. If the DJ doesn't have the song, supply him the CD
- Practice the dance or take dance lessons if you're nervous about dancing
- Make sure the videographer captures the whole dance with the song as the prevalent audio
- Ask the photographer to take pictures from varying angles
- Use the first dance as an opportunity to reconnect after the very stressful week
- And most importantly, relax and enjoy the moment!

The first dance will certainly be a romantic and meaningful moment for you to cherish. For not only will it be your first official dance, it will most likely be the only time during the day when you as the just-weds can privately revel in the truly magnificent event. In the end, you'll have a memory you can share for a lifetime!

Couple: Sharmila Surujnath & Baiju Thakkar
Date: 26th October, 2002
Location: Mahalaxmi Temple and Malabar Palace, Queens, NY
First Dance: "Tu hi re" from the movie Bombay and "You're the Inspiration", Chicago

Sharmila and Baiju spoke to us two months before their wedding day and their pre-wedding jitters would perhaps be similar to many of the emotions you and your fiancé are currently facing. They decided to select two songs, an English song and a Hindi song for their first dance(s). They chose two songs for several reasons, the most important of which was to integrate their South Asian heritage with their American upbringing. For the groom-to-be, Baiju selected "Tu hi re" because "...it has been my favorite song since I heard it. It has beautiful lyrics and music… They both sacrifice everything to be together, and the song captures it elegantly…" For Sharmila, a Guyanese native of South Asian descent, she chose "You're the Inspiration" for "…the lyrics, also it was one of my favorite songs and groups. It just seemed…right for the moment and also it was the perfect song that expresses the way I feel about Baiju."

Now that they have selected their songs, they are anxiously awaiting their moment in the spotlight. Both Sharmila and Baiju are excited and nervous about their first dance and agree that it will be a memorable experience. Sharmila states, "The first dance is a very special time in a wedding and I know we will cherish that moment for a lifetime. I know I will be nervous when I step onto the dance floor but I think once the song starts to play, we will be fine because it will be our moment that we have been looking forward to..."

With two months to go before the big day, they are confident that their song selections will capture the moment for years to come. As Sharmila anticipates, "After our wedding, it will definitely hold a special place because every time I hear it, I will always remember it was the first song we danced to as husband and wife." They advise other couples to find a song that appeals to both. Choosing two songs if one song is not enough, is acceptable, especially when two cultures hold equal importance to the couple.

Oorbee attended a number of Indian weddings when young and after successfully planning and decorating a recent wedding reception, she has found a new calling. As an artist by avocation (she is a programmer by vocation), she now extends her visual expertise into the area of wedding planning and decorations. Her artwork can be viewed at www.oorbeeroy.com or she can be contacted on oorbee@yahoo.com.