We first met towards the end of September last year (2006) in Delhi, in a typical arranged marriage 'setup' – once with the parents and once on our own. Rajat was based in Delhi, I was leaving for York - the day after we met - to take up my PhD studies. I liked him, but was convinced it wouldn’t go anywhere, with the distance and all that. Still, we agreed to keep in touch.

Shipra left for York and we stayed in touch over email between October and December. She intrigued me, I wanted to know more. It took her a little time to open up. I knew we would have to meet again in order to figure this out. Our families stayed in touch.

Rajat and I wrote to each other for three months – discussed life, work, ideas. He was very thoughtful, sent me encouraging notes, concerned emails – his little gestures made me open up. We spoke a few times over the phone. But as my next trip to India approached, I grew panicky. Was this really for me? Was I ready? I’ve never told anyone this, but I almost cancelled going home.

We met again on the 1st of January 2007. We went out with my younger cousins who were visiting from the US. Shipra didn’t show any signs of panic, and she drew out my cousins and made them feel at ease. I merely observed, and we chatted easily.

Over the next few days, we saw more of each other, and got to like each other. What I really liked was the fact that Rajat didn’t push me for any sort of decision – in fact, he told everyone else (my family, his family) to back off. I became less wary, more confident and was able to share my concerns, my fears openly. What about my Ph.D.? My career? Living in India or Canada or godforsaken places like Kosovo or Sudan or Bosnia? How would it all fit together?

I tried to reassure her as best as I could. I wanted to marry someone who was independent and had a mind of her own. As long as we were able to establish trust and an open communication, logistics could always be worked out. I could sense her growing confidence. We were being pushed for a decision…though it had barely been a week since she arrived. One day, coming back from dinner, I asked her, “So what do you think? Do you feel comfortable taking this forward?” She said. “I’m as comfortable as I will ever be.” I knew this was it… it was decision-time!!

For me, other than Rajat’s being kind and charming and gentle, the most important thing was that he clearly respected me for who I was. He appreciated my career and my way of life and had an open mind. And, he gave me a lot of time and space to think and make up my mind about this relationship (though he says now that he was convinced from the first day that I was the woman for him!!)

The decision to go down on one knee was taken out of my hands, though. We were questioned by the parents, we sort of said yes, we felt comfortable - and then all around there were congratulations – just like that. Both Shipra and I were a bit taken aback – the biggest decision of our lives… just like that? It was the 7th of January. I don’t think either of us slept very much that night.

We fell in love on a sort of whirlwind romance, AFTER saying yes! I know it sounds really strange, but it was only after the 7th that Rajat really turned on the charm and swept me off my feet. He says he wanted me to make a serious, considered decision, not in a wave of emotion, so he reserved the romance for later! We got engaged on the 14th of January and the rest, as they say, is history.

After the engagement... cyber-planning, cyber-courtship and cyber-arguments….

I left India soon after the engagement. Since then, as a true mark of the communication trends in the 21st century, most of the wedding planning (at least, whatever involved me) has happened online… beginning with setting the date (getting consensus on 7/7 was quite a task!!!), sending out the evites, then discussing all the potential venues for different events, exchanging views on wedding card designs…even selecting designs for wedding outfits…. (and occasionally modeling the stuff bought using the webcam and skype). Plus of course chatting for hours each night – what would we do without good ol’ skype???

Shipra wasn’t such a great believer in the power of the internet, but I think she’s been converted!! The only problem is when we argue - there’s no way of ‘kissing and making up’ over the internet… for that we need to be together… well, hopefully soon…