Years from now, if you’re telling your kids how you met their mum (or dad), it’s unlikely you’ll begin the story with a chance encounter on a rainy night, under an umbrella. It’s the digital age and as virtual reality intersects with our physical reality at many points, the realities of dating and relationships have changed too.
Online dating apps are fast shedding the stigma that once surrounded them and is truly having their moment. If you feel like traversing this path in search of The One, nothing should stop you.
But if this is your first time on the online dating rodeo, we have some quick tips.
First impression filters
There is plenty of fish in the sea they say. But on a dating app, thrown into a sea of profiles, you don’t want to drown and lose hope. So, this is how you cast a net. Create a basic list of what you are looking for in a partner; nothing rigid – only some absolute non-negotiables that are deal-breakers. This first level basic filter will save you from a whole bunch of fruitless dates and conversations.
Meet and greet
So you’ve picked one person who has passed your initial criteria. You’ve had some light, breezy exchanges. Now it’s time to take it to the real world. First dates are awkward and nerve-wracking so aim to get them over with. It will help to remember it’s as awkward and nerve-wracking for your date too. But this way you get a glimpse into who this person is, whether you have instant chemistry or just ‘a good feeling’ and if they’re not right, then you won’t waste any more time.
Cut to the chase
The venue is set, you’re looking great, so it’s time to figure some things out. That first meeting will give you a pretty good instinct about who your date is and how you guys vibe. But don’t rely entirely on body language. If you are not on the app for casual fun, say it. You can gently and clearly lay out your priorities, values, goals, and dreams. Gauging whether you’re on the same page about these fundamental issues is the only job at hand. If you’re not connecting, you can move on.
Remember your worth and forget those who don’t
Met someone who seems to live with a sense of entitlement or is too lazy to make an effort? Smile and wave goodbye, we say. Someone who can’t be bothered to make an effort right at the start (when everyone is on their best behavior) is unlikely to ever make an effort later. Relationships are about mutual interest and equal work and if the equation looks any different, don’t be afraid to walk away.
Toss the doubts in the bin and let positivity win
Finding the one who you feel truly connected with can take some time, so don’t be too quick to question all of this. It is definitely not an overnight process and it might take a few bad dates too. However, as long as you have hope in your heart and this list in your pocket you will certainly find your perfect match!